I Didn't Upgrade My Seat on a Flight. You Won't Believe What Happened Next!

Airplane crashes have dominated headlines lately. If I were an investigative reporter, I’d scour FAA logs (click that “lately” link). I’d plug numbers into Excel, generate graphs of incidents vs time, and publish trends. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I’d tie the crashes to the FAA firings, shaping the story to prove my point. Happily for us both, I’m neither of those. I’m just a guy who flew to Dulles last December for a wedding, and chose not to pay to upgrade my seat. That decision turned out poorly.

Not Our First Rodeo

2022-09-17 6 min read Travel Us Rob Warner

We’ve traveled together before, the four of us. Three years ago, we flew to Las Vegas to celebrate a chronological milestone for Laura. Since Laura and I share a birth year, they tacked me on as a celebrant. Neither Laura nor I seem to care much for being feted, but we like parties and people so can handle the price of puffing out a few candles. I inherited my aversion to the spotlight from my mother — I recall a surprise birthday party at Olive Garden her church friends threw. She entered an event room packed with people yelling, “Surprise!” Flustered, she immediately declared it a shared party for all, pointing to others and announcing their birthdays. She spread that moment over an entire year before the first round of breadsticks arrived.