Europe: The Final Countdown

In three weeks, we board a Embraer E175, which is apparently an airplane and not a coffee grinder, and fly to JFK. We’ll fill a few hours dining, lounging, and slouching across chairs designed for discomfort. Just before our nerves snap from ennui, we’ll file onto an Airbus A330-300, which is precisely what it sounds like, with 286 other travelers. Next stop? Gay Paree.

We’ve been planning this trip for over a year. None of us have ever been to Europe, and we’re hoping not to perpetuate the Ugly American stereotype. We’ve signed up for Babbel, bought and read shelves from Rick Steves, and ordered adapters from Apple for our phones. We’ve learned not to wear shorts in cathedrals or shirts with logos. My wife even ordered me some scarves, as if a ribbon snaked under my chin would prevent me from ordering a blank vine with poison for dinner. I told my French coworker that I’d be wearing a beret, and he snorted and said I’d be the only one. I guess I’ll have to resort to toting a baguette everywhere to blend in.

Our route? We’ll go to the following cities, in this order:

• Paris
• Rome
• Venice
• Florence
• Genoa
• Marseille
• Barcelona

We have people staying in our homes while we’re gone, so don’t get any burglaring ideas.

Last Sunday, we met for a final itinerary review:

No, I don’t know why Tina is wearing a Grambling shirt, or where she found one in red.

You see the paper calendars. We also have our itinerary in a shared Google calendar. Same with passes and tickets: paper and electronic. Our review sparked a few more questions and assignments that might require further meetings and reviews, but we’ve got time. Plenty of time. Three weeks. I can hardly wait.